


Lams Was Real And Here's The Proof

by QueenBottomless



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: M/M, the letters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:15:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29247144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenBottomless/pseuds/QueenBottomless
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, Lams
Comments: 6
Kudos: 16





	1. Dissecting The Letter

We all know which letter I'm talking about here.

_The_ letter. The most famous of the letters. The April 1779 letter, which started it all.

That's where I'm starting.

The letter starts, as we all know, like this:

_Cold in my professions, warm in my friendships, I wish, my Dear Laurens, it might be in my power, by action rather than words, to convince you that I love you. I shall only tell you that 'till you bade us Adieu, I hardly knew the value you had taught my heart to set upon you. Indeed, my friend, it was not well done. You know the opinion I entertain of mankind, and how much it is my desire to preserve myself free from particular attachments, and to keep my happiness independent on the caprice of others. You should not have taken advantage of my sensibility to steal into my affections without my consent. But as you have done it and as we are generally indulgent to those we love, I shall not scruple to pardon the fraud you have committed, on condition that for my sake, if not for your own, you will always continue to merit the partiality, which you have so artfully instilled into me.  
_

Okay, so that's kinda a lot, so I'm going to break it down a sentence or so at a time.

_Cold in my professions, warm in my friendships, I wish, my Dear Laurens, it might be in my power, by action rather than words, to convince you that I love you._

Not sure 'bout you, but that screams "GAY!!!" to me. The most interesting/noteworthy part of this sentence, to me at least, isn't that "... _to convince you that I love you._ " part. Rather, it's what comes right before. "... _by action rather than words_ " Because how exactly was Alex planning to show John how much he loved him _through his actions?_ I get the feeling that it wasn't bro hugging.

_I shall only tell you that 'till you bade us Adieu, I hardly know the value you had taught my heart to set upon you._

If you don't know/remember, 'adieu' means 'goodbye.' So Alex is saying in the first part of the sentence that he'll tell John he loves him until he says goodbye, which I get the feeling means _dies._ The next part is basically saying that he didn't know how much he loved him until he had left.

Okay, get ready, because I'm going to do the next part of the letter at once.

_Indeed, my friend, it was not well done. You know the opinion I entertain of mankind, and how much it is my desire to preserve myself free from particular attachments, and to keep my happiness independent on the caprice of others. You should not have taken advantage of my sensibility to steal into my affections without my consent. But as you have done it and as we are generally indulgent to those we love, I shall not scruple to pardon the fraud you have committed, on condition that for my sake, if not for your own, you will always continue to merit the partiality, which you have so artfully instilled into me._

So here, Alex is saying 'So you know I hate everyone and don't want to have any attachments to anyone. But you've managed to worm your way into my heart, even though I didn't want it. So now that you've done it, please keep doing it, for you if not for me.' At least, that's my interpretation. Feel free to interpret it however you want, and comment that too.

Now, I'm going to skip the middle section 'cause it's not terribly important to Lams. So here's the next part:

_And Now my Dear as we are upon the subject of wife, I empower and command you to get me one in Carolina. Such a wife as I want will, I know, be difficult to be found, but if you succeed, it will be the stronger proof of your zeal and dexterity. Take her description—She must be young, handsome (I lay most stress upon a good shape) sensible (a little learning will do), well bred (but she must have an aversion to the word_ ton _) chaste and tender (I am an enthusiast in my notions of fidelity and fondness) of some good nature, a great deal of generosity (she must neither love money nor scolding, for I dislike equally a termagent and an œconomist). In politics, I am indifferent what side she may be of; I think I have arguments that will easily convert her to mine. As to religion a moderate stock will satisfy me. She must believe in god and hate a saint. But as to fortune, the larger stock of that the better. You know my temper and circumstances and will therefore pay special attention to this article in the treaty. Though I run no risk of going to Purgatory for my avarice; yet as money is an essential ingredient to happiness in this world—as I have not much of my own and as I am very little calculated to get more either by my address or industry; it must needs be, that my wife, if I get one, bring at least a sufficiency to administer to her own extravagancies. NB You will be pleased to recollect in your negotiations that I have no invincible antipathy to the_ maidenlybeauties _ & that I am willing to take the _trouble _of them upon myself._

So here, Alex is being a salty little bitch because he found some letters address to a certain Martha Manning. I'll go a bit more in-depth about _that_ part in another chapter. But what you really need to take away from this paragraph is that Alex is being a salty shit.

_Or..._

What if Alex is actually describing John? I saw this theory somewhere, I don't remember where, and I'm too lazy to write the whole thing out right now. But re-read this part with John in mind, and remember that deliberate irony is a thing.

_If you should not readily meet with a lady that you think answers my description you can only advertise in the public papers and doubtless you will hear of many competitors for most of the qualifications required, who will be glad to become candidates for such a prize as I am. To excite their emulation, it will be necessary for you to give an account of the lover—his size, make, quality of mind and body, achievements, expectations, fortune, &c. In drawing my picture, you will no doubt be civil to your friend; mind you do justice to the length of my nose and don't forget, that I ⟨– – – – –⟩._

We all know what 'nose' means? Yes? Good. So if Alex and John weren't in a romantic relationship, how would John know that? I doubt that Alexander would wander around their tent with his lower half exposed.

_After reviewing what I have written, I am ready to ask myself what could have put it into my head to hazard this Jeu de follie. Do I want a wife? No—I have plagues enough without desiring to add to the number that greatest of all; and if I were silly enough to do it, I should take care how I employ a proxy. Did I mean to show my wit? If I did, I am sure I have missed my aim. Did I only intend to frisk? In this I have succeeded, but I have done more. I have gratified my feelings, by lengthening out the only kind of intercourse now in my power with my friend. Adieu  
Yours, A Hamilton_

According to Google Translate, 'jeu de follie' means 'crazy game.' However, we all know how accurate Google Translate is, so please don't get mad at me if this isn't what it means exactly. But as it's a three letter word (in French), I am going to assume that it means what Google Translate says it means as GT messes up with a lot more words and stuff. And 'wit' _also_ means dick. So after clearing that up, I will now pick this paragraph apart.

" _After reviewing what I have written, I am ready to ask myself what could have put it into my head to hazard this Jeu de follie. Do I want a wife? No—I have plagues enough without desiring to add to the number that greatest of all; and if I were silly enough to do it, I should take care how I employ a proxy._ " Alex is now questioning why he was being a salty bitch in the first sentence. At this point in the letter, he's cooled off quite a bit. He's admitting he _doesn't_ want a wife, even though he went through all the trouble of writing the previous two paragraphs and then not tearing them off or _anything._ " _Did I mean to show my wit?_ " Again, his coffdickcoff. " _If I did, I'm sure I have missed my aim._ " Do I need to explain this? No? Good. " _Did I only intend to frisk? In this I have succeeded, but I have done more. I have gratified my feelings, by lengthening out the only kind of intercourse now in my power with my friend._ " We all know what intercourse is, so how the hell do you explain him using _that_ particular word if he was straight? And especially the 'only kind'? I dunno, sounds pretty gay to me. The whole thing reeks of gayness, if you ask me. Sidenote, but to me this part is actually pretty sweet? Does anyone else see that? Alex is sad and desperate for his boyfriend and he misses him and iujhyggkkjhgfdfuikijuhygfdtyui MY HEART.

**Woo. That was long. Well, welcome to the end of the first part of this! Not sure when I'll be able to update again, but there will be a lot more parts or varying lengths. Don't think all of them will be this long XD**


	2. Signatures

Alright, so I want to talk about signatures real quick 'cause I think they're pretty damn important.

Not the _signature_ signatures, but how the letters were ended, which also counts as part of the signature.

As we know, the April 1779 letter was signed "Yours, A. Hamilton" _Yours._ How many times do you see 'yours' used in a platonic context? Not very often, if not ever. And keeping with this trend, other letters were signed "Affectionately Yrs.", "Yrs most sincerely", "Yr affectionate", and "Yrs forever." I am I the only one who sees significance in that? I think I might be, 'cause I never see anyone else talk about it.

Now, if we look at how _John_ signed his letters, they're quite similar. "Adieu, my dear boy" and quite often, "Yours ever". Unfortunately, not many letters written by John to Alex survived and were found, and on top of that, John didn't write very many letters in the first place. But if we go up the letter just a little bit, to right _above_ the signature, we find more. "My Love as usual" and "You know the unalterable sentiments of your affectionate Laurens."

That doesn't exactly scream, "Oh yes these two were in a completely platonic relationship and were nothing more than great friends" to me.

Also, John got "dear boy" from his father, who called his mother "dear girl." This, then, would make the term explicitly romantic in John's eyes.

I know there's more compelling evidence in the entirety of the letters, but I wanted to talk about specifically the signatures separately, because I do see them as significant. And it's often the little things that really show how much people love each other.


	3. The Context Behind The Letter

So I've done through The Letter, discussed it, picked it apart and put it back together. But I skipped over the _why._ And I did it on purpose, because I wanted to talk about it in a different chapter. As you've probably guessed, this chapter.

John Laurens got married to Martha Manning in October of 1776. He and Alexander met in August of the next year, 1777. As we all know, they were best friends, attached at the hip, if you will. The year The Letter was written was 1779. These dates are important. Alexander didn't find out that John was married and had a daughter (Frances Laurens, who's a criminally under-used character in fanfictions) until said letter. And he only found out 'cause he was looking through some stuff he shouldn't have and stumbled upon it.

Now, why would John hide these facts from his best friend? And why would Alex get so pissed he writes a whole-ass paragraph detailing the wife he wants, and includes multiple references to his dick? And again, why the FUCK is he implying that John's seen it enough times to know how big it is?

And also, John dueled Lee in 1778, and he could've DIED. If he had, then Alexander would've taken care of all the stuff related to his death, which would've included letting his wife and daughter know he died. And he never once told Alexander they existed. Seems pretty damn sus to me. And autocorrect is trying to correct 'sus' to 'sues'. NO YOU FUCKING IDIOT, I SPELLED IT RIGHT WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU- Sorry. Going back to the topic and back-pedaling a little, why would Alexander have left the paragraph about the wife he wants, if he claims he didn't know why he wrote it?

It's actually really sad, it me at least, when The Letter is used as evidence they were together. Because most people only see Alexander's references to his dick, and overlook the reason behind this letter and what Alexander would've been feeling. And, if you're ignorant to the context or if you read it in the wrong light, it sounds like light-hearted banter, which it most definitely isn't. Alexander was _pissed_ John never told him he had a wife and kid, so he showed that basically by reminding John of the gay shit they did together. It's almost like petty payback.

But, as you can clearly see, Alexander couldn't stay mad at John for very long, because he's already cooled down by the end of the letter.

So in conclusion, all I see here is gay.


	4. He Cares So Much, He's Devoted

Devoted. It's an interesting word, and not one used too terribly often. It means either very loving or loyal, or giving all of or a large part of one's time or resources to a person, cause, or activity.

And it's very  _ powerful _ as well. It might be synonymous with words like loyal or dedicated, but its connotations are deeper. To be devoted is to be  _ more _ caring than caring, to be  _ more _ loyal than loyal. Isn't that interesting?   
  


In Alexander's letter to John dated September 16, 1780, informing him he got engaged to Eliza, he says this: "...as if after matrimony I was to be less devoted than I am now." He is  _ very clearly _ telling John, "Don't worry, I'll still love you as much as I always have. Just because I'm getting married, it doesn't change my feelings for you." Alexander is already devoted to John at this point, and he's re-emphasizing that. He doesn't want their relationship to change, he wants to continue to love him and be with him like he has for years.

  
  
  


Also real fast can we just acknowledge the fact that Alexander Hamilton was not only bisexual, but also polygamous? And historians still claim he's straight and monogamous? Thanks.

  
  


Also irrelevant but I can't and never have been able to listen to All You Wanna Do without thinking of Lams because of this-   
  


Last thing, I promise. If you want to view the letters for yourself, here are the links.

[Alexander Hamilton letters to John Laurens](https://founders.archives.gov/index.xqy?q=Author%3A%22Hamilton%2C+Alexander%22+Recipient%3A%22Laurens%2C+John%22&s=1111211111&r=1)

[John Laurens letters to Alexander Hamilton](https://founders.archives.gov/index.xqy?sr=Hamilton%2C+Alexander&q=&s=1511211111&sa=Laurens%252C%2520John&r=1&sc=sr)


	5. Cure? What Are You Talking About?

"In spite of Schuyler's black eyes, I have still a part for the public and another for you; so your impatience to have me married is misplaced; a strange cure by the way, as if after matrimony I was to be less devoted than I am now."

Now this is interesting, isn't it? Allow me to go through it, possibly with some rambling. Now quite obliviously, "Schuyler" is Eliza. As stated in this excerpt of letter, they'll soon be married. Something rather interesting I'd like to point out here is that Alexander writes _in spite of_ Schuyler's black eyes. This follows his theme of... well, down playing his love for Eliza in his letters to John. In a different letter he says of her, dated June 30 1780, "She is a good hearted girl who I am sure will never play the termagant; though not a genius she has good sense enough to be agreeable, and though not a beauty, she has fine black eyes—is rather handsome and has every other requisite of the exterior to make a lover happy. And believe me, I am lover in earnest, though I do not speak of the perfections of my Mistress in the enthusiasm of Chivalry." But if you read Alexander's letters to Eliza, you find that he thinks so much more of her. He's down playing his affections. He doesn't want John - the other person he loves - to become upset or jealous.

I also think it's worth noting both times he writes of her 'black eyes', especially in the former. I also find the wording of 'in spite of Schuyler's black eyes' to be of interest. Rather like how in literally any romance books, how there's always paragraphs about the main character's love interest's eyes, he's fascinated by them. And yes by 'romance books' I mean fanfiction because that's all I read at this point- I'd also like to say that him saying 'in spite of' could also imply that John was a little jealous or unhappy 'bout that. When he first mentions Eliza in one of his letters, in the excerpt shown above, you see the shift in the description. That makes me think that maybe John might've not been super happy about the wording there, hence Alexander writing in this letter, ' _in spite of._ '

Anygay moving on-

Him saying he has a part of his heart _just_ for John speaks volumes. Literal. Volumes. I don't think I really need to say anything else here, but I'm gonna ramble a bit anygay. _Oh my god my heart._ That is so fucking sweet I can't. Even though he's getting married he still has a whole fucking part of his heartdedicated to John kijuyhgtrfdesdfgtyhujioiuyhgtrfdesw. If that in itself, disregarding everything else, isn't proof that Alex was head-over-heels in love with John, then I'm gonna _fucking_ yeet myself off a cliff. Also, fun fact. Originally, Alexander had wrote he had a part of himself for his friends in general (I'm paraphrasing here), but he changed it so it was _just_ for John and no one else.

John- John. Marriage it's- it's not a cure, honey. This also pretty much tells us everything. A cure for _what_ though?, I hear the deniers (coffhistorianscoff) asking. What could marriage be a cure for?, they cry. They can't figure it out. Well, that's why I'm here! Lemme spell it out for ya, historians. John had internalized heterosexism. Marriage. Was. A. Cure. For. Le. Gay. _HA!_ Yeah, right. No matter what, the only way toy can get a different answer is by twisting and warping his words until they're completely indistinguishable from what he actually said. The only logical conclusion, the only one that _works_ , is that they were in a relationship and John was probably dealing with some internalized heterosexism and panicked a little. Especially after finding out his best friend and lover was getting _married_. 

I spent all of last chapter rambling about the 'devoted' part, so go re-read that to hear my thoughts on it, if the mood strikes ya.


End file.
